Catching up after Cancer

I know this site has been a bit abandoned lately. I had to take a step away really the last two years, because of my brother's passing due to a third bout of sarcoma and then to my diagnosis and treatment of breast cancer.

It has been a humbling journey for sure. I have lived intimately with cancer for the last 9 years, 7 with my youngest brother as they struggled. I watched through their journey how facing death inspired them to live authentically ie Jonathan, my brother or sibling, came out as genderful, this was their term so I honor it. This was a courageous act and it freed them to be more fully who they were and from it their creativity flowed, several one man shows were born, one such show "Cancer is Gorgeous".

As I faced my diagnosis, treatment, and now living with the possibility of recurrence, I am feel a certain closeness to my brother and their journey. Cancer is humbling in so many ways even after the treatment to kill the cancer, you have less band width, less capacity, and yet you are supposed to care for yourself immaculately so it does not return. As you meet this new you, there is an idea of feeling better like you once did, which I am now shifting and accepting I won't be the same. In that I am grieving and also curious. I am realizing all the ways I over rode my system for others, work, and widdled time in for myself. Now that time for myself, decreasing my stress, addressing my basic needs for exercise, proper nourishment, emotional support, have to be primary. It has clarified very quickly what is actually nuturing and supportive as if something is causing stress there is no room for it in my system, ie I have a stress reaction and fatigue and just can't. My body is very clear about its limits now. So I am grateful for this clarity to guide me, and I am listening and simplifying and that is creating more ease and grounding.

I am grateful for so many things like my DBT practice which I have leaned on heavily, the skills of middle path, of radical acceptance, and Wise Mind have been profoundly helpful. Also a powerful tool has been validating myself as I meet each new challege and checking the facts, there are so many emotions which are valid as you meet diagnosis and treatment but not getting lost in the intensity of them has been helpful. I am so grateful for my somatic practices of grounding, noticing when I am overwhelmed and reorienting, finding resource, accepting help and supporting my system with community ie social engagment to keep my out of fight, flight, and freeze. I am thankful for my collegues who have supported me in these practices as well so that as my system (body and mind) were taxed, I could co-regulate and rely on their regulated systems for support. This is the place I truly feel connected to my brother, they never hid in their illness or their recovery, it was all laid to bare and shared, and they inspired so many and they were supported by so many as a result. I got to witness the power of this beautiful vulnerable exchange through them. t was a beautfiul blue print gifted to this hyper-independent woman by my sibling on how to face this challenge and the rest of life going forward.

I say all of this to share how my practices have truly supported me and how they continue to support me in supporting others whether it be cancer, life transitions, loss, childhood trauma whatever. As I reconfigure my life to support my continued healing, I will have other offerings in the spring....a 6 week somatic skills training, a quarterly movement class. 2026 I am hoping to have more to share. Thank you all who continue to support me on my journey and allow me to support you as you traverse yours. See you soon with much love, Julie.